Monday, December 28, 2009

To Jump or not to Jump Around...

So, I'm not a University of Wisconsin fan, per se, but I have come to appreciate a great many of the Universities sports traditions. One of the coolest is JUMP AROUND which takes place between the third and fourth quarters of football games and consists of the student section going ape shit and jumping around to the song "Jump Around" by House of Pain.
Sounds pretty goofy but it is a lot of fun with everyone getting involved but the students definitely provide the energy. The Badger student section is one of the liveliest I've encountered but also the most profane. Kirk Herbstreit agrees with me on that and he's a Buckeye.  Read more if you wish at Wiki. Or heck, just watch my video! Be sure to hit 'full screen' for the true effect(and turn up the volume, dang it!).

Great fun! But the game itself wasn't so fun for Michigan fans...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Borderlands of Fritz the Dog

The Borderlands of Fritz the Dog is the name of my nation and I can proudly say that I've hit the One Billion population mark. And the economy is strong with excellent political and political tights for all my citizens. I am an excellent president.
Confused? Obviously, so check out this LINK and you'll view the homepage of my country. The premise is you start off with a fledgling country and everyday you are presented with legislation that affects various aspects of your nation. You can have a "Hippie Utopia" or craft an "Orwellian Nightmare" it's all based on the laws that you choose to enact. It's fun, free and takes just a minute to sign-up. So become a member of NATION STATES today!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Catering to the Obese (Pun Intended)

Here we go! Even slim 'n sexy Brazil is getting on the Nanny State bandwagon. In Sao Paulon, "Fat Seats" have been installed in the subway terminals AND on the trains themselves...
"The blue-colored seats are nearly twice as wide as normal chairs and can support even the bulkiest passenger up to 550lbs without breaking. But baffled underground bosses in Sao Paulo, Brazil say they're being ignored by obese passengers, who they think are to ashamed to use them. A sign above each seat shows a cartoon of a roly-poly passenger saying "Priority chair for obese people." "It may be that they don't want to think of themselves as fat or they resent being put in with pensioners and the disabled," said one manager." Link

You know, they could have avoided all this by installing benches.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


FOX "NEWS" forcing reporters to lie so as not to implicate it's advertisers? Who would have thunk it? Well apparently their staff did. In this video, two reporters from FOX "NEWS" tell their tale of being forced to lie about a story that they uncovered. They were even offered a bribe to drop the story. They refused to and were fired. You be the judge!

This link talks about the lawsuit they filed.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Wally World

Michigan, the state that brought you such nifty things like Mass Production, the Republican Party, and the 1957 Chevy, now brings you the secret of how Stonehenge was built. Maybe.
Wally Wallington of FLINT, Michigan has used some Midwest gumption and has perhaps solved an ancient riddle...

Sunday, March 29, 2009

What would you do for a Wonka Bar?

Sad news. Even the world's most famous candy maker has fallen victim to these tough times. The above photo is the abandoned Wonka Chocolate Factory in Manchester, England. Read more...

Manchester, England(Reuters)--Legendary sweet maker, Wonka Inc. has shuttered it's doors after failing to emerge from bankruptcy. No more shall Wonka Bars, Gobstoppers and Golden Eggs delight children of all ages as the last Wonka factory, located in Fengpu, China, ceased production on March 14th.
The seemingly magical 47-year-old company was celebrated in books and movies alike but could not recover from global economic forces. The companies misfortunes began when a British government investigation revealed that the entire company workforce, which consisted solely of foreign Oompa Loompa workers, had neither proper immigration status or temporary worker visas. The Oompa Loompa employees were summarily deported to their native country of Loompaland thus leaving the Wonka factory without a workforce. The Manchester chocolate factory was forced to close in 1998 while it searched for a more hospitable business environment for it's manufacturing operations. While keeping it's headquarters in England, Wonka enterprises then opened it's new facility in Fengpu, China and again regained much of it's former market share. However the chemical "melamine" was detected in the milk used to make it's chocolate in 2008. The Chinese government forced the factory to close for four months of decontamination after which the tarnished Wonka name could not recover. Over 1100 workers will be laid off in China and another 183 in England. Willy Wonka, the founder and CEO of Wonka Inc, could not be reached for comment.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

HORRIFYING NEWS! Boys grave unearthed and looted! Robbers even take boys body!

So, a bunch of guys equip themselves with shovels and then proceed to dig up a grave of a boy in order to nab any loot that was buried with him. They find the booty that they were searching for and will eventually sell it for a handsome profit. Heck, to get even more money for their efforts they even take the guys remains and put him on a world tour for yokels who are willing to pay $30 a pop in order to see a corpse. Sound morbid? Sound unethical? Sound illegal? Sound like grave robbing? Hell no! It's not any of those things because this is what we call archeology...wink,wink.
The dead guy that I just wrote about was the late boy-king of ancient Egypt named Tutankhamun, or King Tut. His remains and possessions went on a second world tour in 2004 and his new owners, the Egyptian government, raked in $10,000,000 profit in each American city where he was displayed. The exhumation and molesting of his final resting place was not only legal but publicly celebrated. Heck, Steve Martin even glorified it in his hit song with nifty lyrics like, "Now if I'd known, they'd line up just to see him.I'd have taken all my money,And bought me a museum!
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut".

Yet the definition of grave robbing according to Wikipedia reads, "Grave robbing, grave robbery or tomb raiding is the act of uncovering a tomb or crypt to steal the artifacts (as illicit antiquities) inside or disinterring a corpse to steal the body itself or its personal effects. Someone who engages in this act is a grave robber or tomb raider". OK, so what is the definition of an archeology then? They say," the science that studies human cultures through the recovery, documentation, analysis, and interpretation of material remains and environmental data, including architecture, artifacts, features, biofacts, and landscapes. Because archaeology's aim is to understand humankind, it is a humanistic endeavor". I like how they sugar coat the moral sleaziness of the profession in the last sentence.

What this boils down to is that if you have a PhD in front of your name you can feel free to rape the final resting places of people as long as the government or a museum gets the coin. What is horrifying is the vagueness of how long the deceased must be in the ground before you can molest their remains. Apparently there is no set standard ether legally or professionally for and "archeologist" to go by. I've been reading into it it seems all you need is an advanced degree and an ok form the government and you are on your way. No regards to religious beliefs or the sanctity of ceremonial burial are required as you are doing it in the name of science and profit.
So when you, dear reader, take that final jaunt in you own life cycle be sure to stick it to the man one last time; don't take any valuables and do the cremation thing.